Just disappeared. Lemme see if I can remember.
I can't think. I am not as clearheaded as I used to be; I am groggy and tired; my lower abdomen hurts; my pelvis hurts; when I stand up, I feel like I have to pee immediately, but when I go sometimes its just a trickle; If I'm up and about a lot during the day and then go shopping, I have to sit on a heating pad for the rest of the night; Yesterday a girl who sees me every day said, "Until today I couldn't tell you were pregnant" How friggin depressing is that?
I was busy this morning inbetween stuff around here (GAD! Do they think I WORK here or something? I mean, I know its the end of the semester and they need me to do stuff, but GEEZ I'm trying to get some PERSONAL things done!) where was I? Oh, yes, in between work interruptions, I was busy trying to find a pediatrician. Not an easy feat. I finally called my OB and asked for a recommendation. We've got a prenatal consulation with him on the 3rd of Jan. Anyone got any ideas of what I should ask him? Is asking him to move in with us too forward?
Funny, I came here to post about how happy blogland has seemed lately. Grrrl had awesome news. A bat came into the world. My TTCAM and FF sistas seem to all be doing well. Now if only that good blogland karma can follow Toni and Mia, I shall be very, nearly, perfectly happy. Mia's gotta get well, we miss her! And Toni, my fingers are crossed for you--I hope this cycle goes well and isn't cancelled. I wish I understood the process more so I knew specifically what is good and bad. I'm mustering up tons of prayers for you. Good luck!
It isn't too long before we're going to start having a long stream of birth stories around here. I think we're all well spaced enough that we should have quite a steady stream of them.
I am starting to freak out about the actual labor part ---oh! and not to forget the being-a-mom part. I've read all of this stuff throughout the pregnancy, but its just seeming so *REAL* now that I'm two months away (two months from today, if you're counting--that means less than two months tomorrow). All of a sudden I've got pediatricians to pick, breathing during labor to figure out, pre-admission to the hospital to do, oh, yes, and let's not forget the pushing a child out of a very small place part.
The other day we were in bed reading a magazine called Lamaze parents or something. Some kind of propoganda my doctor gave us when I was 8 weeks and only thinking about seeing heartbeat and not much beyond that. Well, the parts I'm reading for me are about "embracing the pain" and "bearing down" and how that somehow makes me one with the universe. Blah Blah Blah
We get to the birthing coach section:
Magazine: "be sure you eat the snacks you brought"
David: "Oh! those are for me? We have to make sure we pack them, then."
Magazine: "All the focus will be on the birthing mother, don't forget yourself. Take time to sit and relax"
David: "Don't have to ask me twice."
You can see how this went. You can also see, maybe, why I was tempted to kill him with papercuts compliments of Lamaze Parents.
Am I that horrible for not wanting to embrace the pain?
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