Holidays

I always love the holidays, but this year I seem to be infused with spirit. Maybe part of it is that I kind of missed out on the holiday season last year. My wedding was Dec. 6, so we had a Christmas tree at the ceremony and reception, but after that we left for Portugal and Spain and came home Christmas Eve. Its not that Portugal and Spain weren't decorated for Christmas, because they were...far more than my town ever is. There were themed Christmas lights over every street every few hundred yards or so (or even less), there were Christmas carols and there were huge nativities in the middle of the squares. But it wasn't home--I missed out on almost all of the hustle and bustle and excitement at home.
Then there's the added excitement of being pregnant and being in my eighth month for Christmas. Getting close to the due date seems like one prolonged Christmas eve!
And then, of course, everywhere I go--and everything I do--for Christmas reminds me that next year I'll be a mother and have a kid at Christmas. Say what you might, but I think Christmas is always more exciting with kids around. I can't wait! Its changed what I'm buying as decorations this year (every year I add a little more). The tree in my living room is always a Victorian themed tree, but next year I'm going to add one in our family room that will be all bright Christmas colors and more "santa's workshop" style. I got some new placemats for the dining room and instead of fancy ones, I got quilted ones with reigndeer on them. Suddenly snowmen are irresistable.
I can't believe I didn't used to want to be married and a mom. If I described my life now to a former me, I would be agast and who and what I am. I wouldn't believe that scrapbooking and popular tv shows bring me happiness. I wouldn't believe that a nice warm quilt, a fire and some cocoa would be a great night at home for me--or that looking out the window watching my husband mow the grass brings me joy. I wouldn't believe that one of the things that has made me the happiest in life has been being somone's wife--and *gasp* cooking for him. I wouldn't believe that the thing I want most in life is to be someone else's mom. But you know what? I think this domestic wife has been hidden deep inside me for a long time--I think it has always been my innermost wish. I think I was made to be someone's wife and someone's mom. I can't believe I was worried about David moving in after we got married--I'd lived alone from 19-30 (a month and a half from 31!). I thought the house might feel cramped with two of us. These days it seems to ache for more voices, more feet, more hearts.
and those voices and feet and hearts are coming...